Reinstatement
4 November 2010
Back when I was young and unaware of something like the seduction community, I remember being lonely, sick of myself and without a girl in my life. Those feelings made me desperate enough to check out Google and type in: “get a girlfriend”. That’s the point where I discovered the community, starting with David Deangelo, Fastseduction, later on The Game, Juggler Method, DutchALF, etc. It opened up my eyes to a world of fun beyond my expectations.
It’s nice to see how I’ve evolved over the years. More specifically, how my attitude towards myself and other people has evolved. I’ve improved myself, became more socially savvy, a better communicator, thinker and professional. I’ve read, listened and watched lots of self-help material, some good, some rubbish, but I can’t say I’m sorry for it. It has all helped in lots of ways.
On the other hand, I haven’t forgot why I’ve started this journey. That is, to get a girlfriend. And I’m very (very) aware that it was necessary for me to change as a person first, before I actually start seeing myself as an attractive person. When that point was finally there, I became better with women as well.
The thing is, I have my weekend flirts and all, and even had a one-night stand, which was fun. But like I said, the only thing I ever wanted from the community is learn me how to get my first girlfriend.
I do wonder how difficult it must be for most people to actually get their first girlfriend. I do have some past hurts, but one needs to get over that, and I have. I still feel that something can be improved about myself so I can be a more attractive person. Call me perfectionistic, but when I entered the community, I’ve made a vow to stick with the plan and become a better person. It’s just that my game is so off at the moment.
I should reconsider what vibe I’m giving off to women. Sometimes I’m talking to them and they’re obviously testing me for badboy-ishness. Funny enough, I even pass the tests most off the time (cocky and funny is magic), but there’s either girls who give off sexual vibe when I’m talking to them, or just LJBF-vibe. There’s no in-between.
How do I send off a flirtatious vibe, and still have them get to know me as a good guy?
Let’s ponder that question. For the time being.
