My journey to become a Mentat

I’ve currently reading the novel Dune from Frank Herbert. It’s a really exciting book, filled with dialogue between highly intelligent characters. The thing I liked the most about the book are the concepts and ideas that are presented therein, where the Mentats are the most interesting characters.

Mentats are so-called human computers, who perform arithmetic and analytical skills computers usually perform, due to the fact that in the novel’s universe, computers have been outlawed.

Those Mentats were then trained from a young age to become adept at  logic, memory, strategy, pattern recognition, or other skills that require rational thinking.

Inspired by these characters, I’ve thought of what it would take to become such a Mentat. Ofcourse, it’s a novel, and one cannot become a real “human supercomputer”, but I do believe one can become a whole lot better at remembering things, make better decisions, and think more clearly. If this is combined with training in soft skills, one can become a sort of emotionally balanced Mentat.

Therefore I have been making a list of skills to acquire to achieve this goal. For this, I have found different resources:

• PersonalMBA blogpost of “Core Human Skills”: http://personalmba.com/core-human-skills/
• Mentat Wiki: http://www.ludism.org/mentat
• Article “So You Want To Be A Mentat”: http://www.technovelgy.com/ct/Science-Fiction-News.asp?NewsNum=1643

Then I’ve picked some skills from those lists that seem useful to have. Those are (30 in total, categorized):

• Self-management
• Speedreading
• Memory
• Personal development
• Health
• Psychology
• Advertising psychology
• Dating psychology
• Creativity
• Creative thinking
• Drawing
• Storytelling
• Communicating
• Conversation
• Body language
• Voice expression
• Writing
• Debating
• Presentation
• Relationships
• Creating rapport
• Influencing
• Conflict resolution
• Planning
• Decision making
• Time management
• Scenario generation
• Analysis
• Systems thinking
• Data analysis
• Mathematics
• Mental arithmetic
• Algebra & calculus
• Statistics
• Business mathematics
• Computers
• Lifehacking
• Speadsheet- and statistics software
• Programming

I have then made a list of books to read to accumulate those skills. That list isn’t finished yet, but the books are mostly in Dutch anyway, so I won’t be posting them here (you can contact me if you really want to know the titles).

In my next posts that I’ll be writing I’ll keep you informed of the progress I’ve made. Till then.

My Creative Autobiography

This is an assignment from the book The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp. It’s meant as a creative exercise, and I found it interest to write down the answers on the blog. It a questionnaire, 33 questions total.

What is the first creative moment you remember? Playing with lego as a small child. I liked building toys and create my own toys to play with.

Was anyone there to witness or appreciate it? No, I had some imaginary friends during my entire childhood, as far as I can remember. I had very different interests compared to other children, so I was mostly on my own.

What is the best idea you’ve ever had? Combining a lot of what I learned about social skills and handling people with an introductory course in a mathematical concept called game theory. I’ve found out that in all social relationships, there must be an equal payoff to all parties involved. I realized that all people are inherently selfish, but with cooperating with eachother eventually bring the highest payoff in the long-term.

What made it great in your mind? With these ideas and concepts I set the foundation for striving for harmony and win-win relationships. I must admit that at times, I am not always that cooperative, as it is sometimes neccesary to be a bit selfish. It’s healthy.

What is the dumbest idea? That just reading books on management could turn me into a good manager.

What made it stupid? I wanted to be instantly gratified. I thought there was a shortcut to learning the whole package, instead of actually doing and gaining experience. I wanted to learn the tricks without knowing the trade.

Can you connect the dots what led you to this idea? When I was in my teens and interested in girls and seduction, the only winning strategy that existed in my mind was to become a high-status player or cad. As selfish as it might seem, that strategy seems to work, albeit one must keep long-term benefits in mind. In that regard, being a generally good guy, with a sharp edge that makes girls swoon, interested in building good relationships, instead of pursuing casual sex, is also a good strategy. It’s just a less sexy route to take, but one must learn to live with that. In your later years, you will have more to offer to women than a traditional bad boy.

What is your creative ambition? To have genuine connections to valuable people and become of value to them, as well.

What are the obstacles to this ambition? By focussing on the wrong things, or by having a too narrowed focus by ‘specializing’ on just one thing.

What are the vital steps to achieving this ambition? Build up a large network of valuable people around me, and learn multi-disciplinary interests to relate to a lot of them. Be a jack-of-all-trades that can offer value to a multitude of people.

How do you begin your day? Taking a half hour to get out of bed. This is something to work on. After that I step under the shower, get dressed and go to school, skipping breakfast. This it something I should work on too.

What are your habits? What patterns do you repeat? I collect tasks and todo’s in an inbox, either a physical inbox or a electronic one. I have a block of post-its next to my bed, to write down the things that bother me, so I can get them out of my head. I smoke some cigarettes before going to bed. I bring books to read in the train to read, or listen to audiobooks on my mp3-player.

Describe your first creative act. When I was 17, I had my first salesjob. As I didn’t have any sales skills, nor had any experience handling challenging conversations, I started to buy books on a whole range of books to improve my knowledge of social interactions, ranging from human relations, leadership, military and political strategy and psychology. Without realizing, it became the start of a continuous road to self-improvement.

Describe your second creative act. In my last year of my retail study, I had the assignment of writing a businessplan for a retail store. I came up with the idea of writing a businessplan for an online e-commerce store, as a modern alternative. When thinking of new ideas for the webstore, the problems I encountered had to do with theory and research not being available or up to date. I developed my own methods for doing market research and learned some innovative ways of doing competitor analysis, which were also helpful during my new study.

Compare them. Both of them are about developing new mental models to make daily life easier. The former being a bit more practical, and the latter of a more analytical nature.

What are your attitudes toward: money, power, praise, rivals, work, play?

• Money? Something to play with.
• Power? A means to an end, albeit under stress, I can obsess over it, use it wrong and it make it depress me.
• Praise? What I give to others, but not to myself. Something I should work on.
• Rivals? Keep an eye on them, but don’t obsess on keeping up with them. The rat-race isn’t worth the stress and moral/emotional bankruptcy it leads to.
• Work? A place where you can fully express your potential, taking in account you plan your career well.
• Play? Getting out of your head, being in a full state of joy and flow. Like picking up girls, drinking and playing computergames.

Which artists do you admire most? David Ogilvy on advertising, Wayne Elise on seduction, Robert Greene on power and Niccolo Machiavelli on politics.

Why are they your role models? They are not just interested in their primary field or business. They have developed a wide view of how the world works, which makes them better in their profession then a narrow-minded specialist. They have have powerful ideas which they teach to others.

What do you and your role models have in common? They have a broad range of interests and they have a very sober, clear way of thinking and present ideas in a way that gets the message across, no fluff involved.

Does anyone in your life regularly inspire you? Jordy van Houdt. He is more sober, smart, and yet very humble, which is an exceptional combination of qualities in one person. He is someone who just ‘gets’ everything I talk about, whether it’s about the girls we meet to the formation of our new government. He is sophisticated, yet casual. Geeky, yet fashionable. Intellectually stimulating, yet childishly funny. The only thing I don’t like about him is that he’s a guy.

Who is your muse? Napoleon Bonaparte

Define muse. Someone who has mastered the skills I want to improve as well, to achieve greatness.

When confronted with superior intelligence or talent how do you respond? I look at it objectively and wonder what the story behind this person is. Talent isn’t born, it’s made. And I want to know how.

When faced with stupidity, hostility, intransigence, laziness, or indifference in others, how do you respond?

• Stupidity: Like how you’d deal with a child.
• Hostility: Emotionally distant, cool.
• Intransigence: Surrender and deflect.
• Laziness: See hosility.
• Indifference: Fight fire with fire.

When faced with impending succes or the threat of failure, how do you respond? My emotions might take over. First, I regain control of myself. Then I think of all the people I admire, and think to myself, “What would they do?”

When you work, do you love the process or the result? I usually love imagining how the result would look like. From there is where it all starts; making plans, goals, talking to people, creating value. I hate doing things if they don’t add up to a worthy goal. Sometimes you can love doing things, but they don’t add up to something useful. Why continue?

At what moments do you feel your reach exceeds your grasp?Everytime I learn something new, of course. If your mind cannot be stretched to the point of fascination, what challenges are there to be met? Challenge only comes from those things that we are not able to grasp, so we can learn to build our skills and character to a point where we can.

What is your ideal creative activity? Selling the ideas and concepts I’ve invented. I’m a master of the sales pitch, but only my own inventions are worthy of passionate rhetoric.

What is your greatest fear? Losing the ones you dear the most. They are your base.

What is the likelihood of either of the answers to the previous two questions happening? It starts with your belief. Those who have no control of mind, have no control of their fate. A bad day starts in the morning.

Which of your answers would you most likely to change? Eleven. I said that beginning my day should start with a good morning habit. It’s something that I should work on, which might guarantee further succes

What is your idea of mastery? Teaching to others and have passionate, credible experience to have authority to teach your ideas.

What is your greatest dream? Have a nice bed and breakfast in France with, and run it with a wonderful wife. It’s the point where I can say to myself: “Enough is enough. I want to quit the rat-race and rest.”

Reinstatement

Back when I was young and unaware of something like the seduction community, I remember being lonely, sick of myself and without a girl in my life. Those feelings made me desperate enough to check out Google and type in: “get a girlfriend”. That’s the point where I discovered the community, starting with David Deangelo, Fastseduction, later on The Game, Juggler Method, DutchALF, etc. It opened up my eyes to a world of fun beyond my expectations.

It’s nice to see how I’ve evolved over the years. More specifically, how my attitude towards myself and other people has evolved. I’ve improved myself, became more socially savvy, a better communicator, thinker and professional. I’ve read, listened and watched lots of self-help material, some good, some rubbish, but I can’t say I’m sorry for it. It has all helped in lots of ways.

On the other hand, I haven’t forgot why I’ve started this journey. That is, to get a girlfriend. And I’m very (very) aware that it was necessary for me to change as a person first, before I actually start seeing myself as an attractive person. When that point was finally there, I became better with women as well.

The thing is, I have my weekend flirts and all, and even had a one-night stand, which was fun. But like I said, the only thing I ever wanted from the community is learn me how to get my first girlfriend.

I do wonder how difficult it must be for most people to actually get their first girlfriend. I do have some past hurts, but one needs to get over that, and I have. I still feel that something can be improved about myself so I can be a more attractive person. Call me perfectionistic, but when I entered the community, I’ve made a vow to stick with the plan and become a better person. It’s just that my game is so off at the moment.

I should reconsider what vibe I’m giving off to women. Sometimes I’m talking to them and they’re obviously testing me for badboy-ishness. Funny enough, I even pass the tests most off the time (cocky and funny is magic), but there’s either girls who give off sexual vibe when I’m talking to them, or just LJBF-vibe. There’s no in-between.

How do I send off a flirtatious vibe, and still have them get to know me as a good guy?

Let’s ponder that question. For the time being.

Upward

Since two weeks I’m with a group of members inside DutchALF to discuss goals we’ve set for ourself. It’s a sort of peer group who can support eachother, by various punishments and control mechanisms to make the sure each individual member achieves it’s goals he set for himself. We meetup every week to review our progress. Of course, we’re going partying afterwards.

My goals are:

• To not eat junkfood for 30 days (consequence for not attaining it: to eat a spoonfull of dogfood)
• To implement GTD as a time-management tool (consequence: bring two crates of beer to the next meeting)

I hope this group (who’s aptly named the Power Nap Rangers, thanks to us all having sleeping problems) will work out the way it’s planned.

I’ve made out with a cute girl in Heerlen last weekend. To bad she had a boyfriend . I’m becoming such an asshole.

New Road Test

A lot has happened since the last time I’ve written for this blog. I’ve considered starting up new blogs and so on, but the intellectual interests that I can cover here, cannot be covered in any other. And so I continue to post..

I’ve finally lost my virginity to a cute Swedish girl, somewhere in May. It was a one-night stand, but the seduction was thrilling. Teasing, flirting, kissing, biting, fucking, I loved it.

It’s just a shame that it didn’t turn out to become more that just a casual fling. I felt quite empty the days afterwards. It’s hard to describe the feeling, but let’s just say that losing your virginity during a one-night stand does weird things to your mind.

I’ve also explored my bisexual side and made out with another guy I was dating. At his place. Yes, I know that’s might sound weird, and a bit surprising, and maybe even gross, but really, it was one of the most, passionate and intense make-outs I’ve ever had, and I even really had hopes for long-term dating with him. But alas, even that prospect came to an end. Though I’m glad I’ve explored that “side” of me.

Anyways, I’ve taken up a new Bachelor study in the field of communication, so my attention will be quite taken for the moment. My adventures in the dating field might not resemble last years quantity, but I will ensure to strive for the same amount of quality. In other words:

I will never give up the damn fun.

Being an adult

I went to the Real Man Conference last saturday. It was a big meeting with 6 guest speakers, organized by RMC and Dating Doctors, a competitor of The Natural\DutchALF.

It was a PUA meeting. There were 60 PUA’s in the room listening to a bunch of guys for 10 hours. There were good speakers and bad speakers. Tom from www.ikpasbijjou.nl, Wisdom and Dr. Yen were good men and speakers.

But the vibe out there was horrible. The people sitting there were geeks with no social life who DEPENDED on this stuff. They were older than me. I’m glad I started young with PUA. And it made me ask questions about the validity of it.

The Community held these poor men in a bind. An addiction to learn more material, more theory, more concepts, but never coming to the realisation that in order to become good with woman, you need to be in touch with your emotions so you can have a clear mind.

That’s the reason you don’t know what to say to a cute girl when you see her. You’re not in logical mode, and you shouldn’t be. Your body helps you, by letting your emotions come up. It’s such a shame PUA’s learn to repress them and “fake” their way through an interaction. Last Saturday I had the realization that I have to unlearn PUA material and become a real natural by being more in touch with my emotions.

I went clubbing with DutchALF in Rotterdam this weekend. Club Watt, to be specific and I had a hell of a time. I was just focusing having fun and that way I managed to stay out of my logical mind. And picked up two cute blondes (one actually picked me up and gave me her number).

I was being direct, honest, and showing clear interest during my conversations. I felt freedom. The rest of the night was just ditzy funnnn!

The rest of the guys now say I’m part of them. That that’s what it’s been all about all the time. Just unlearning PUA and being in touch with your feelings.

I finally like myself now.

Stretching the Comfort Zone

Oke, so it’s been about a half year, since the first Official Meeting with DutchALF, and I can say I’ve improved a bit. It’s slow, but I’m starting to reduce approach anxiety. I’m trying to get my posture and kino right, which should be easy as a former door-to-door salesman. The hardest thing I’m learning right now is being more direct and forward.

I went to Carnaval in Breda and Tilburg this weekend, and I’ve had some fun. I left out a lot of chances, because of approach anxiety, but I did got a little peck from a cute girl, while doing a fast kino escalation, disarmed AMOGs, and tested a nice pickup line (and failed. Twice ). The real problem I’m having now is about having a real conversation. I’m trained to be a good conversationalist, but it’s difficult for me actually have a conversation, instead of just being in party-fun-mode all the time.

I’m wondering how I’ll handle this one issue.

Cougar Prey

Location: Off_Corso, Rotterdam
Group set-up: Myself, Voloscire, Daddy Cool, Jasper, Longbow, Chris, Merf, Trendsetter, JvP, Eschbee

Last Saturday, I had a very pleasant evening. I went out once again with DutchALF. The night began in Zin, a cocktail-bar about a minute walking distance from Off_Corso. I had a little chat with some new guys. After half and hour, we paid the bill and headed off.

The last time I went to Off_Corso was about six years ago. So while I was there, I felt like a newby, which off-course I was.

There was a dancing plateau in the middle of the club, where I spent a whole lot of my time, just dancing and having fun, and getting both silly and seductive looks in my direction. I spoke with a lot of people in the club, having casual conversations with fellow nicotine consumers in the smoking area, with an older woman after she  pinched me in the butt, young girls who were bored. And I got a kiss-close from a woman who was more than ten years older then me.

I saw her, nicknamed Pinned, standing alone in the dancefloor while I was standing on the upper plateau. I made some eye-contact, smile at her, and introduced myself. I did heavy kino in the first 10 seconds. I dragged her (litteraly, according to a friend of mine) to the plateau and danced on some techno music, showing her some raving moves and tried to get her to dance along with me, which she did . Afterwards I proceeded to the smoking area, and asked if she wanted to keep me company. There, I could converse with her easier and, more important, isolated. I asked a question about how her dream vacation would look like and from there I set up a seductive frame. We ended up kissing, light kisses on the cheek at first, then on the mouth, and then full-blown making out, pinning her against the wall. After a while she wanted to leave, so I said “Okay” and walked away while still holding her hand, dragging me back, me looking back in her beautiful eyes and kissing her again. I also put some Vaseline chapstick I always have in my pocket on her lips, and tested to see if her lips were smooth . After a while she gave me a last, light kiss goodbye, and left. It was fun.

A Conversation

Location: In the car from Utrecht to Rotterdam
Group set-up: Myself, Daddy Cool

I went with some guys from DutchALF to the New Member Meeting in Utrecht last Friday. I had some fun, although the group split up too soon at the beginning of the evening. I met some new cool guys, though, so I’m glad I went out.

At the end of the evening, I had a conversation with a coach from The Natural about the point at which my issues with women seem to come up and destroy my game. There was a little bit of marketing in the talk involved about coaching from The Natural, but what it did was: It got me thinking about my game.

It’s mostly that I’m trying to improve my game by reading about theory, reframing myself, planning, scheming, strategizing, but NOT GETTING OUT THERE enough. This is what struck me the most.

It’s not that I used the wrong techniques or the wrong mindset that hurt me the most, it’s that I was living my life in a boring way. The basics of just grabbing a beer on Friday or Saturday evenings, checking out women, talking with new guys, those were the things I was missing. I think I need to refocus my life on having fun, not just thinking about it. I’m a workaholic, and while I’m enjoying my job (just a little too much) it’s bad for my game, my social life in general and my personal happiness.

So stop being a workaholic! That’s the first issue I needed to get handled. I’m glad these DutchALF meetings exist.

Expanding the Circle

Location: Club Monza, Utrecht
Group set-up: Myself, RdB, JvP, Jeroen, Daze, Fsidontknow, Boss, Jasper, Omniscient, Henry_Spencer, Jay-EM, Morphs, Longbow, Misterfree, Eschbee, Krazj, FrankvandenTIllaart, Tysoft, The Professor NL, Trendsetter, Jakartha, Ultimatum99

I went to the DutchALF meeting in Utrecht last Friday. I’ve met lots of other new people and, most important, like-minded men.  I like really liked the fact that evening that, while I was doing proper Juggler Method night game, everybody just joined along. What is proper JM night game, you ask?

H-A-V-I-N-G F-U-N! And lot’s of it. In a natural way.

Dancing, talking, debating/discussing ideas, helping others (big one), hitting on random girls. There were some guys who didn’t felt entirely comfortable while they were there, but there was some pretty good vibe. I like to go out with these guys again, which I will, at the next meeting.

The event was at a 21+ club in Utrecht, called Monza. Getting there was hell. The trainroute between Rotterdam and Utrecht was fucked by a train-defect on the middle of the railroad. I sat in the train for two hours, stressing out. Peacemaker texted to say he didn’t wanted to come anymore, because he was tired from school and wasn’t in the mood. When I arrived in Utrecht, I had no idea where to go. I called JvP, who tried to give me directions, but I didn’t really understood. I asked two friendly-looking blondes, who happily described me where to go.

So, I arrived, met another forum-member along the way. First we had three speakers from The Natural, Jeroen, RdB and JvP, who explained their natural way of building and maintaining a good lifestyle by adressing and eliminating your inner fears. They disapprove of canned material and routine openers, which falls in line with my ‘substance over flash’ attitude. They also say that no structure is needed in you way of approaching women, and everything should go natural. Which is indeed the right way, but I like experimentation and in the end, finding my own way, which may end up being their way after all.

We had some lively discussions about subjects I really cared about. I was happy to join in on this one.

We did some training games, like the trading game, intending to trade objects in order to eliminate the fear of approaching strangers in a playful frame.  Afterwards, we went clubbing in Monza, some good vibe from our group, but not a lot of dancing from the other guests. I had good conversations with a lot of other members, notably Dave and tysoft. I went home at 3 o’clock, wanting to catch the train to Rotterdam. I had a good night, made new friends and expanded my social circle. It feels good .